If you read my post about the life lessons that I learned my first year of being a full-time entrepreneur, you know that like-minded connections are important to me. Not only do these connections help to strengthen me as an entrepreneur and help me grow as a coach, they also strengthen me as a wife, a mom, and a woman who struggles with her own insecurities. (Yes, coaches sometimes struggle with many of the same issues their clients do.)
A couple of months ago, “enoughness” and recognizing the places where we measure our self-worth came up in a conversation with one of my connections, Vanessa Teklenburg of http://vanessateklenburg.com/. Imagine how surprised and very honored I was to then be interviewed by her during her month-long exploration around of “enoughness” with her audience.
Being. Enough. Being enough. (aka “enoughness”)
Two simple words by themselves but when put together, they can pack a powerful punch.
“Being enough” is the root feeling that our efforts and our actions are exactly as they should be, without second-guessing or feeling disappointed by what “more” we could have done. Without guilt and without regret.
Guilt and regret are thieves of the present day by continually turning our heads and having us look backwards in remorse.
Now don’t get me wrong, regret and guilt can be great catalysts for change but if not kept in check, these two feelings can have you never moving forward and always clouding our memories with a perfectionist lens.
In the interview with Vanessa I share how “enoughness” shows up for me and I speak into my early years where I can now notice people-pleasing tendencies. Please listen by clicking the audio player below. The interview is just over 30 minutes and an easy conversation recorded across the world; Vanessa lives in Australia and I live in Texas. (Isn’t technology, when it works, awesome?).
Some places where you may find enoughness at odds:
- Moving forward from the past.
- Receiving compliments and gifts.
- Accepting a higher responsibility – that you earned.
- Billing and seeking clients.
- Asking for a raise or promotion.
- Asking for what you need.
- Not honoring what you really need for yourself (that nap, the day off and even new clothes).
- Making mistakes and moving on.
Pay attention to these these opportunities (and others) where your own inner dialogue is anything but kind.
After the conversation with Vanessa, I really began to look at places where my own “enoughness” has been challenged lately. I realized that it’s shown itself so much in the last couple of years with my sons growing up and building their own lives. On my part there has a been a lot of guilt in looking back over their childhoods: “Did I spend enough time with them?”, “Read to them enough when they were little?”, “Why did I…”, “Did I tell them enough that I love them when they were small?”.
Honestly, the answer is both yes and no to all of those questions. Though I know that I can always do more, I also know that I hold myself at a high standard. This often leads to disappointment – even if I do the very best that I can that day or in that situation.
And that phrase holds the key for me, “even if I do the very best that I can that day or in that situation.” This is where I’m moving toward, showing up the best I can and honoring that within myself. Like I mentioned in the interview, it’s like an “enoughness muscle” that I am working at building.
I believe you deserve that as well. Don’t you?
I’d love to know what you think about “enoughness” and when it shows up for you. Leave a reply in the comments or over on my Facebook page.
And if you are ready to have someone work with you on releasing guilt, regret and building that “enoughness muscle”, I invite you book a no-pitch, free session with me. I’m offering two, free 60-minute sessions to those who haven’t worked with me as a coach, each month through 2016*. It’s my gift to you in the hopes that being enough becomes a part of your daily routine.
In love and care,
P.S. – Be sure to visit Vanessa’s website and check out her Deluxe Abalone Set. It’s part of a clearing ritual to release the old and create space for the new. A great way to let go of those guilt and regret feelings that are stealing your presence and joy. I’ve ordered mine and can’t wait to open the opportunity to move forward in my own fullness. <3
*Two (2) complimentary sessions per month: two individual people, one session per person.
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