I’ve been a certified life coach for two years now, but most importantly, I’ve been on a mission for over 10 years to align my own life from the inside out. I took a long look at my life after my divorce at age 39 and realized that I wanted to make changes. I needed to make them if I really wanted to live a life that was filled with meaning and purpose where I was living to my fullest potential. The combination of my on-going training and my own experiences is how I help my clients.
Even though I love writing about ways to redefine midlife and give tips on making those “maybe someday” dreams of yours happen, there is one comment or question that always stops me in my tracks,
“Liz, why would I hire a life coach when I can do it myself?”
When I hear this question, I always like to dig deeper into the reason the person is asking this question – especially when it sounds more like a statement. Most often, the core of the question really comes from a place of questioning the value and the price.
We place value on what we purchase. But often, we are looking for the immediate feeling of the purchase and not the long-term outcome. We won’t think twice about dropping nearly $10 on a whipped-up fancy coffee almost every day of the week. Or the dollars we spend on fancy handbags or shoes. These items provide a feeling of reward – until they become just a way to patch an empty feeling or push away uncomfortable feelings we may be having.
How often have we thought to ourselves we can lose the weight without help, or find the new job, or repair an important relationship? Often though we find that months later (maybe even years), we haven’t made the progress that we had hoped.
And why didn’t we invest in these very important parts of ourselves? Why don’t we spend the money on something so valuable on things like our health, our career, our dreams or our marriage? It’s not until we value ourselves, our purpose, our desires that we see the value in investing in our future outcomes.
I remember visiting a local art show and visiting the booths of jewelry makers. As a beginner silversmith, I get inspiration from seeing what other artists are doing. One booth displayed beautiful jewelry lavished with a lot of attention to detail and the most unique materials that I had ever seen put together.
On one on one of the jewelry displays was a hand-lettered sign that read, “Yes, you probably can make it yourself. But will you?”
I realized that I had been looking at her work in that way. Yes, I could make them myself. I had some experience and I could purchase the silver and hunt down the gems. I could spend time learning the intricate detailing – surely there were videos on YouTube! I could figure out the firing point of the metals and determine the type of soldering that was needed. How hard could it be??
The reality clicked in, I lacked the experience and materials needed. And did I really have the time or money to spend on something that I looked at with such admiration? It made me reflect back on the many, many times I had tried projects with a DIY attitude, only to be disappointed, give up and frankly, realize how I had wasted my money and time.
I purchased the necklace that I was eyeing and it’s one of my favorite pieces to wear. I didn’t need to make it myself to enjoy wearing it. I invested not only in myself with the gift but also in the artist’s skill and training that far outweighed mine. I valued the artist’s experience and I’ve never regretted the purchase.
And this is how I look at my clients making the choice to begin living a life that makes them excited to wake up in the morning. They absolutely COULD make that choice to do it themselves, but it’s not until they are tired of a life that is on “auto-play” that they are ready to invest in themselves.
So to answer your question, yes, you can make the changes yourself without working with me. And you may very well be successful at moving forward toward your goal. But where will you struggle when you could move forward quicker? What uncomfortable edges will you come up against that never are fully explored and thus are probably showing up in other places in your life? What habits are you still carrying from self-doubt, the imposter complex or your inner critic that (unfortunately) will show up again? What outside views did you have that opened your eyes to other possibilities? Do you have limiting beliefs keeping you from fully experiencing the change you desire? How much time are you willing to let pass, again, before you really make the connection that a little help from a life coach can have you living a life filled with true, authentic happiness?
If you are like I was 10 years ago and ready to begin making positive changes in your life, you can begin by downloading my workbook, “Break the Good Girl Rules.” This complimentary PDF will help you discover how the “good girl” rules you learned growing up are keeping you from becoming a vibrant, fulfilled woman now. This is the simplest way to start working with my, by the way. Your investment is your time and it may just open your eyes to the possibility of the future work we can do together. Click here to get started.
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