I have exciting news to share with you this week – I was asked to be a co-author on a book that Shirley Weir of MenopauseChicks.com is putting together. And my introduction as a collaborator is today Wednesday, February 7, 2018!
You may remember Shirley being on the Midlife Schmidlife podcast for Episode 9 and Episode 19. Shirley and I have never met in person but what drew us to one another was our passion for redefining the negative messaging that is happening around women and the aging process. Shirley is “cracking open the conversation” around perimenopause and menopause and I am helping women reclaim their identities during “midlife” and writing a new script for how society views women over age 40.
Shirley’s new book, Moody Bitch to Menopause Chick is coming out in April. The premise of the book is about putting together a healthcare team to be a support through perimenopause (when our hormones begin fluctuating and we begin to notice changes physically and emotionally because of it – sometimes 15 years prior to menopause) and our post-menopausal years. I’m a big advocate of this as well as I am continuing to put together my own healthcare team. To be invited to be a part of this project and help more women was an amazing feeling.
Self-Doubt Can Keep Us Small
A little confession though, when Shirley first approached me, I wasn’t an immediate “Yes!.” Truth be told, the more I thought about accepting this opportunity, the more my self-doubt began to creep in. I mean, I would be in the book with doctors and nutritionists and other healthcare professionals! Eek!
But here is what I know about self-doubt…we all experience it. From successful Oprah Winfrey to a woman whose main focus of the day is to apply for a new job, self-doubt is a normal feeling rooted in fear.
When we listen to our self-doubt and act on it, it keeps us safe. It shelters us from the unfounded bad experiences that could happen. Self-doubt keeps us from maybe making a fool of ourselves when we want to try something new. It keeps us from making changes that could have an unfortunate outcome. But when we listen to self-doubt and stay stuck because of it, we allow our world to become smaller and smaller. We settle for a life that isn’t fulfilling and having our dreams go unrealized. When we constantly listen and give way to self-doubt, we let our fear win.
In the book Playing Big, the author Tara Mohr shares how she learned two definitions of fear used in the Hebrew Bible. The first type of fear is pachad, fear coming from circumstances that could happen like falling from high places or being in a plane crash. The second type of fear is yirah. This type of fear actually has three different meanings:
- An overwhelming feeling when we inhabit a larger space than we are used too.
- The feeling we experience when we suddenly come into more unexplained energy
- When we are in the presence of the divine.
And this is where I encourage you to check-in with your self-doubt, the voice of fear. Is it the voice of pachad or yirah?
Saying “Yes” Anyway
I could have listen to my self-doubt and turn down the book deal. After all, I could be making a fool out of myself being alongside esteemed professionals in the healthcare community. But realizing that my self-doubt is a form of yirah is comforting. I am inhabiting a new space, a larger space. And as uncomfortable as it seems, it’s also becoming my new normal.
In a recent interview musician, singer, songwriter and former lead singer for the Doobie Brothers, Michael McDonald was asked if he was nervous about his new tour and album release. His comment was, “It’s good to remember that self-doubt is a poodle in the bushes and not a grizzly bear.”
Personally, I wouldn’t compare yirah to a poodle as the enormity of it feels much more like a grizzly. But in reality, it gives a great visual of realizing that yes, self-doubt is here and chances are, it’s not going anywhere as we shift from places of comfort into new experiences. Naming it and saying “yes!” anyway is how we all make positive changes and go after those maybe someday dreams.
I’d love to hear from you! Where are places that self-doubt are showing up for you? Is this the voice of pachad or yirah? Leave a comment below and let me know.
I believe in you!
P.S. Shirley is introducing me as a co-author today (February 7, 2018) all over social media. She also has a recorded interview plus a peek into the chapter I wrote. If you’d like to see the interview be sure to sign up for her launch list at www.tinyurl.com/MCNewBook
P.P.S Wondering how a life coach can help and why one should be on a healthcare team? Beyond the physical symptoms of hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause, some of the emotional symptoms can be mood swings and mood changes including anxiety, extreme emotionalism and sensitivity, lack of confidence, anger, and depression. So not only is your body changing physically, your emotions can have you wondering who you are now, what you are doing with your life, how do you want to spend the remaining years and even questioning if this is the life you want. Sound familiar? A life coach can help you begin creating the life you want, can help you decide who you want to be now, as well as 10, 15 and 20+ years from now. What makes me different from other life coaches, is that I primarily work with women over the age 40. I understand the emotional and physical changes that can be taking place and I understand the importance of becoming knowledgeable about the changes you are going through. I walk alongside my clients as they create a life they look forward waking up too and I may be able to help my clients identify where they may need additional support from their healthcare professionals. Want to find out more? Hop on over to my Work With Me page and then schedule your complimentary Hello Session – 60 minutes of coaching where we work together on something you’d like to explore.
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